Being alone together
Author: Yaoying Lin | National Affairs Officer
“The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.”
As someone who loves seeing her friends at social events, but equally enjoys watching a movie at home alone, I didn’t expect to feel so lonely amidst the coronavirus outbreak. I immediately berated myself for the tears that fell whenever my thoughts wandered to how long it could be before I would next get to hug my friends, play with my younger cousins, even awkwardly introduce myself to university classmates with a “fun fact”. After all, it seemed so selfish and shallow to waste tears over such trivial and first-world matters when billions of other people were caught in battles with far more serious casualties, regarding their health, employment, finances, home and even access to basic resources.
Yet, as the number of people ordered into state-wide or even nationwide lockdowns grew, I began to see that loneliness is a sort of pandemic in its own right. When I talked to my friends, I saw that they mirrored the same anxiety, fear and dread that I had been struggling with. But it was only when I read this article in The New Yorker that it truly clicked. In times like this, the importance of understanding and protecting our emotions and mental health – rather than suppressing or dismissing them - cannot be understated.
“People are struggling with the emotions as much as they are struggling with the economics”
At a fundamental level, human beings are social creatures. Thus, when we are told that the fate of our family, friends and neighbours all hinge on our collective willingness to practise “social distancing”, the potential problems become glaringly obvious. Indeed, there is a reason why the terms “social distancing” and “social isolation” are often used interchangeably by the media. Where social distancing refers to “remaining out of congregate settings, avoiding mass gatherings and maintaining distance from other when possible”, social isolation suggests the “relative absence of social relationships.” Thus, if left unchecked, the latter seems like a natural progression of the former.
Social relationships possess both objective and subjective characteristics. Arguably, two of the most important characteristics of social relationships are the extent to which an individual is socially isolated (objective isolation), and the extent to which they feel socially isolated, or more colloquially, feel lonely (subjective isolation). Research emphasises that whilst being alone is positively associated with loneliness, the two are not synonymous. However, both factors possess the ability to influence an individual’s mental and physical health.
Some important associations of isolation and loneliness on health include:
Social isolation, with or without loneliness, can have as large an effect on mortality risk as smoking, obesity, sedentary lifestyle and high blood pressure (Cacioppo et al., 2011)
Lonelier individuals are more likely to report lower levels of physical activity (Shankar, McMunn & Banks, 2011), decreased quality of sleep (Matthews et al., 2017) and are more likely to smoke (Lauder, Mummery, Jones & Caperchione, 2006) than those who feel socially integrated
People with smaller social networks report less healthy diets (Locher et al., 2005)
There is a consistent relationship between social isolation and depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation (National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine, 2020). In turn, these present their own statistical dangers
On March 20th, the World Health Organisation (WHO) replaced the term “social distancing” with the more accurate phrase “physical distancing”. When the original label was first adopted by public health authorities, experts argued that it was a misnomer that could encourage people to shut themselves off from the outside world. Indeed, the effort to change the language we use highlights the growing concern for people’s mental health in these unprecedented times. It is vital that we understand how to nurture our mental health throughout this temporary period of objective isolation.
Activities that prioritise mental health and wellbeing:
Try to exercise! During this time of physical distancing and staying safe at home, it is easy to fall into a sedentary lifestyle. Exercise improves mental health by reducing anxiety, stress, depression and negative mood. It can also alleviate symptoms of social withdrawals, improve sleep quality and enhance immune system function. In addition to running or walking outside, consider trying an online class or following a YouTube tutorial – having a workout buddy on video call can make it extra fun too.
Eat healthy foods as much as possible. While the field of Nutritional Psychiatry is still relatively new, a growing body of evidence suggests that unhealthy diets are a risk factor for depression and anxiety. In a time where fully stocked supermarket shelves feel like a distant dream, it can be easy to succumb to the pressure of buying highly processed comfort food and snacks. However, when possible, try to choose fruit, vegetables, nuts and unprocessed food over those that are high in saturated fats and sugar. Take note of the differences in your mood and energy levels!
Pick up a new hobby that you love. Many people have found that they now have more time on their hands than they know what to do with. Hobbies, especially creative ones, can boost your mood and reduce stress. Some possible hobbies to consider include gardening, learning a new instrument, reading, and solving large jigsaw puzzles.
Reach out and connect with your loved ones. This is arguably the most important one, since social support improves our capacity to cope with stressful situations. Remind yourself that this is a temporary period of physical distancing, and stay connected via email, social media or phone. Schedule calls and catch-ups with friends and family through digital platforms such as FaceTime and Zoom so that you have something to look forward to. The government’s digital mental health portal, Head to Health , is a good starting point if you need information or access to further mental health services and care.
As countless world leaders have stated, we are living in unprecedented times. Within all the chaos it has caused, there are still some positives that we can focus on in the midst of the pandemic. It has reminded us that in a modern world increasingly obsessed with material belongings, the most important things in life remain the health – both physical and mental – of ourselves and our loved ones.
Take care of yourselves!